Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re going to hear about it.
Earlier today, Paul tweeted his annual “List of Grievances” for Festivus, the humorous holiday that was the plot of a well-loved Seinfeld episode. Many of his tweets focused on wasteful government spending, a favorite topic for the Kentuckian, but a few targeted President Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and even his fellow Senator, Ted Cruz (R-TX).
As you all know… http://pic.twitter.com/T80kTfHpC3
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
You can read the entire thread on Twitter starting here, or I’ve collected some highlights below.
Paul, a Presbyterian, made sure to clarify that he was not declaring war on Christmas, while emphasizing his support for the War Powers Act, which restricts the President from involving America in armed conflicts without the authorization of Congress or an emergency:
Before we get started, I need to alert @FoxNews and someone in DC that this is NOT a war on Christmas. It’s a war on everything else.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Declared of course. That’s the only way to do It. Right Congress? Right?
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Paul then mocked the effusive praise Hillary Clinton got for her book, while taking a swipe at Trump’s opinion of his own book:
I hear that many people are saying great thinks about Hillary’s book and It won some major major awards. That’s great for her, seriously. http://pic.twitter.com/TjuIUbDniK
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
I hear even @realDonaldTrump loved It. He said It was the “third best book ever written”.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
That’s high praise considering he thinks the first two were both inspired by God.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Another tweet highlighted Trump’s penchant for celebrating one particular Festivus tradition on a daily basis:
I want to pause to wish @realDonaldTrump a Happy Festivus. We told him to take today off, since he airs his grievances on here every day http://pic.twitter.com/OicIz1x5Uj
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Many tweets focused on some of the many egregious examples of how our government wastes our money:
My #Festivus edition of the Waste Report totals $563,421,523 the federal government wasted.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
The average taxpayer pays around $8,136. That means the programs in this report wasted the taxes of 69,250 people
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Your government spent $3,217,960 on putting on music festival and concerts abroad.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
It may not seem like a lot of money, but we spent just under $100k to make sure Kenyan farmers knew how to use Facebook.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
We spent over $170k to build trails in national parks. Seems like not too bad until you read the next line that the parks were in Russia
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
We spent $15 million to train cashiers in Walmart…in Mexico
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Last but definitely worst: your government thought It wise to spend your tax dollars to build $255 million to repair roads…in Afghanistan http://pic.twitter.com/aKFzUSEbYG
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
You can read more of the report here https://t.co/qAxQT2hrRu‘festivus’-edition-‘-waste-report’
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Perhaps the funniest grievances were a few quips at the expense of Cruz, referencing a recent Twitter squabble the Texas Senator had with Star Wars star Mark Hamill.
My friend @tedcruz decided to have an #AiringofGrievances early with @HamillHimself. On Star Wars opening weekend. Hmm http://pic.twitter.com/msnzLeXkxn
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
There are how many million Americans who’ve wanted to force-choke Ted, and he picked on the one who could do It. Brave, he is http://pic.twitter.com/rL5c65wMoH
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
I’m KIDDING, Ted. You’re likeable enough
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2017
Cruz was a good sport about it, tweeting back at Paul:
.@RandPaul appreciate the kind Festivus sentiments. Call me, next time you need somebody to mow your lawn…. https://t.co/m0FTQhNsKt
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 24, 2017
Good work, Senators — helped shed some light on wasteful government spending and had a little fun too. Now, if you really can get Trump to stop tweeting, that would be a Festivus Miracle, indeed!
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